he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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