Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
