I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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