We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize