You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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