girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize