so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
