you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize