Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
