operation harelip BJ is a go
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
