Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
