You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
