shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
