I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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