Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
