How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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