He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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