are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
