You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
