Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
