It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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