I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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