Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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