so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
