he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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