But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
