Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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