I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she smelled like a LAN party
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
