you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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