Can i not drive my cunt home
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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