Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
