He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
