Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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