On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
