he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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