She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you will always have a special place in my vag
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
