I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
