Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's blow job season.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
