When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
