last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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