I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
