i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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