OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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