Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
