Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
