Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
