I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Let's paint friendship bongs
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
