how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
