he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
