so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
