I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
