My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
