the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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