Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
