I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
