i may or may not be watching the land before time
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
