Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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