my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
