I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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