dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
