Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
