Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
