How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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