I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
