I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
